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Published 18:20 5 Apr 2018 BST
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"4. If I start crying when I'm with you, please give me back to mommy. I get you want to soothe me and be a superhero for doing it but I really just want my mommy and daddy.
"5. I get hungry, sleepy, poopy, and fussy around the clock. If you want to visit me, plan to come for less than an hour so mommy and daddy can get back to giving me their undivided attention instead of hosting you! Also, don't plan on eating here (my mom barely eats, she doesn't have time to feed you) or staying over unless you want to listen to my high pitched audition for the best opera singer in town - practice time is always in the middle of the night!
"6. It's just spit up, relax yourself. Listen, you wanted to hold me, burp me, swaddle me, soothe me (see above), so now deal with it. Like I said, this is what I do - AROUND THE CLOCK!
"7. Please don't expect my Mommy to call you, text or post a million photos on FB. She's taking good care of me and would rather stare at my sweet face than her phone."
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