This just in: Not even babies appreciate baby talk

If you're currently filling your little darling's "tummy-wummy" with "porridgey-worridgey", you might want to reconsider your use of baby language. Not only is it incredibly irritating to anybody who can overhear you in a café (not to mention your childless friends who, believe me, die a slow, painful death every time you mention the buggy-wuggy) but it could actually be slowing down your child's language acquisition. New research published in Psychological Science shows that babies do not find sing-song tones and baby talk easier to understand. The study of 22 Japanese mothers demonstrated that speaking to children this way actually meant they were more likely to confuse like-sounding syllables. So, it seems it really might be time to keep that Parentese to your selfie-welfie.