10 Totally Reasonable Things I Wish My Toddler Would Understand

I am in possession of a spirited (demented) toddler who is currently struggling with a lot of emotional issues (mainly having parents I think). I have tried to be calm, rational and sensible. That didn't work. Then I tried joining him in his tantrums until I noticed that he seemed to be inspired by the spectacle and picking up tips from my shit fit. Next I tried matching each of his 'NOs' with my 'NOs' in a kind of escalating and vaguely mental 'No Off", that got us 'NO'where. Then I tried wine which got me a little tipsy and then A LOT hungover, so I abandoned that method. Then I tried screaming into a pillow. via GIPHY 10 totally reasonable things that I wish my child would understand: 1. Sometimes I need to lie down without someone standing on my face. via GIPHY 2. My speaking to someone else is not an invitation to commence screaming one's face off. via GIPHY 3. This glass of red 'juice' is not suitable for babies. via GIPHY 4. My plate of toast is not interfering with your day in ANY way; there is no need to push it off the table. via GIPHY 5. I love you; I am not trying to wreck your life when I stop you from careening down the stairs. via GIPHY 6. Sleep is a restorative process essential to all humans, please just give it a try, PLEEEEASE. via GIPHY 7. 'No' is not the answer to EVERYTHING. via GIPHY 8. Holding my hand is not a punishment, it is an effort to save you from oncoming traffic. via GIPHY 9. I am sorry if my constantly smelling your head and neck is tiresome and a little creepy. I simply cannot STOP. via GIPHY 10. I love you, everything I'm doing is because I love you. (Except the sneaking into the kitchen without you, that I am doing because I love chocolate.) via GIPHY

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